Monday, June 13, 2011
Timothy Ferriss And The 15 Minute Female Orgasm
The book covers a lot of ground. And since Timothy Ferriss not only wants you do be fit and healthy, but also to live The Good Life, there's a certain amount of discussion about how to Have A Good Sex Life.
Honestly, as a female reader, my hopes weren't high, because in the early chapters of the book he describes hanging out with the guy who wrote that book The Game. Neill Strauss. You know, the book about picking up women that gives advice like "always say something insulting to a beautiful woman." The book that assumes only 8s, 9s, and 10s are worth bothering about and if you're a man doomed to date a 6 you've really got problems.
But I was pleasantly surprised. Ferriss doesn't just want to tell his male readers how to pick up women; he wants to tell them how to make a woman have a good time. I suppose it's a pretty sad indictment of most pop culture that you get points for not just wanting the girl but also for wanting her to have fun, but there it is. Really, reading magazines like Maxim you get the impression that not only does your average guy not know what to do to make women happy and sexually satisfied, he doesn't really care either.
So points to Ferriss for that. And, I would say, further, points for the way he goes about finding out his answers. I said that he's experimental and obsessive. Basically he goes and talks to a whole bunch of female experts on female orgasm to find out what exactly is needed to get a girl off, and then he practices. Because he's curious, he's willing to go to the ends of the earth to ask informed people what the answers to his questions are. Because he's experimental he's willing to ask actual girls to let him perfect his technique. Because he's obsessive, he's willing to practice and hone his technique until he has a Sure-Fire-No-Fail-No-Mystery Technique for making sure a woman has an orgasm during sex (my phrasing, but that's what it is). In 15 minutes or less.
Again, pretty sad indictment of the rest of pop culture that you get props for asking women about women's orgasm, but I think you do. Your average nutty guy experimentalist is so much more comfortable talking to other guys than talking to women, they'd rather talk to Dr. Male Sexresearcher than Ms. Female Sexologist any day of the week. But Ferriss goes right to the source: women who know what they're talking about. And he listens to what they have to say. So that's good.
The only question I had about the whole thing was: Sure-Fire-No-Fail-No-Mystery 15-minute orgasm?
Because as you can imagine, the technique is pretty specialized. There are diagrams. You have to have the woman staying pretty still and and the man doing a series of very precise things. It's kind of like, I don't know, repairing a pocket watch, or polishing a really really tiny and delicate piece of silver, or getting the last piece of paper out of a jammed photocopier. Just to give you a sense of things, Ferriss says, "Limit the session to exactly 15 minutes. I used a kitchen timer."
I get wanting knowledge and technique, I applaud the way he goes after it, but isn't it weird that even with all this there's no part of the activity that involves just asking the woman in question what she'd like? Sure, maybe she wants a Sure-Fire-No-Fail-No-Mystery 15 minute orgasm with a kitchen timer. But then, you know, maybe she doesn't.
Funny how hard it seems to keep in people's minds: if you want to know what a woman wants, why not ask her?